our generation is moved by memes, and liberated from inspiration

in the fall of 2005, i had recently left talk radio and was beginning to drift from current events and world news consciousness. despite my departure from the fountain of information that gushes context and theme into the world of the mind, subtly dictating action, i remained in touch with a small conflict in west africa. in the country of sudan, a bloody war was being waged between arabs and blacks in the darfur region.

the conflict in darfur is complex and deeply tied into chinese-american relations, but even on its most base levels, often misunderstood. i felt passionate about the oppression, and also moved to steer reaction toward the roots of the abstaining solution – america. although largely alone, my beliefs were shared by a small collective of heightened individuals, most of whom were only there because they had happened to hug an african instead of a tree. regardless of their motives and misguided enthusiasm, we shared a common belief that change must be brought to chinese-american relations in order to end the sudanese genocide. 

today, the conflict is just as misunderstood as it was then. people, to generalize, do not understand what is going on. they do however, feel inclined to “save darfur” and “stop the genocide.” many folks may even be so driven as to call the genocide equal to or greater than the german genocide that precluded world war two. whether this is true is irrelevant, these people, such as the million-plus members of the “save darfur” cause on facebook, are clueless to the real aid effort that must be made.

the darfur issue was even broached by now-president barrack obama during his campaign for the white house. saving darfur has become a part of our culture, but it has infiltrated conversations and consciousness’ through a meme, not through inspiration.

our generation has not been well introduced to inspiration. we are not inspired to do or believe, but coerced by memes. these memes that slide in and out of our cultural identity such as livestrong bands, katrina relief, healthcare reform, nfl football, american idol, skinny jeans, twitter, and the like, are the products of memes.

the short of it is that we as a culture have created an “in-crowd mindset.” the composition of this mindset moves based not on the inspiration of a populace, but on the influence of a meme. we are not inspired to show support for cancer victims on our wrists, but coerced by a desire to belong.

the essence of our being – our morality, passions, convictions, preferences – all products of playing make believe in a concerted effort to be “in” and “hip.” 

you and i are charlatans, make believe identities forged by public opinion and manipulation, disconnected from soul-developed passion and conviction. 

we are a culture of pretenders.

thejonfoley

ABBA might be the best kept secret there is. “Dancing Queen” is a pretty lame song. Maybe not as cheesy as all of the places it appears in television and the movies, but still a pretty awful song. It is a real shame that “Dancing Queen” has become ABBA’s legacy to our generation and posterity. (Oh yes I did just work posterity in for all you constitutionites.)

I stumbled upon “The Name Of The Game” and it quickly grew into my personal anthem. The song is essentially the plea for a DTR chat of a woman swept off of her feet.

Ah, the DTR. No one likes the DTR, well, I do, but that’s just me. The DTR or “Define The Relationship” is a discussion between two people who have blurred the line of platonic friendship and romantic entanglement. It is my general understanding that the most effective way to handle a situation as such is to define the situation ASAP. FR. (As Soon As Possible; For Real (FR is new PS (Post Script))). I, on the other hand, prefer to leave things blurry and unsettled for as long as possible until eventually things simply unravel of their own doing.

The next great ABBA discovery was the combo of “Voulez-Vous” and “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)” both of which are all time great hook-up anthems. AWESOME. “Now is all we get, nothing promised no regrets.”

I was chatting with a girl recently who told me that she does “No titles, no commitments.” I asked her if she knew what boys called 18 year old girls with that motto, “The pot at the end of the rainbow: Jackpot.” She seemed to take that as a compliment although it was not meant as such. In any case, “Gimme Gimme Gimme” is kind of the greatest soliloquy uttered by the club girls of ABBA as well as a familiar refrain for boys of the nightlife.

ABBA was “Love In This Club” before Usher was knew what to do.

When I wanna have a good time, I know who to call: ABBA

In my google search for dirty sex acts (i.e. Dirty Sanchez, Blumpkin, Bankok Bugspray, etc.) i found a website (which can be found in my links section) devoted to instructing Christians in non-traditional sex practices according to God’s word. The following are a few brief synopses of each section.

ORAL

“The Benefits of Swallowing – Drink of the Living Water” Yes, that is a REAL headline from the website. This portion also highlights the idea that the verses in Genesis 38 discussing “spilling” seed are actually letting the reader know that Onan actually recieved God’s wrath for pulling out, not for masturbating as is often thought.

There are references to the Song of Solomon’s allusions to oral sex and it’s “sweet taste.” In addition to the tasty benefits, the website notes that “Oral sex has the added benefits of preventing unwanted pregnancies and helping couples satisfy their sexual urges while preserving their chastity until marriage.” This means that those abstaining can happily engage in a little head to ease the tension of waiting until marriage.

Bottom Line: Sucky sucky time, just make sure that you swallow.

ANAL

The website starts out on what i would consider a curious note, “Anal sex is confusing to many Christians” who think that anal is wrong because homsexuality is wrong. Quickly clearing up the issue after a reference to Titus, the website informs readers that “God also created our bodies for pleasure, and anal sex is just one of the many ways that we can enjoy this pleasure and share it with a partner.”

Why Anal?

“having anal sex allows her to preserve her virginity” oh, right. of course.

Bottom Line (no pun intended, ok some pun): Put it in.

I believe it’s “Menage A Trois” …THE THREESOME

“Is a Christian Threesome Possible?” According to this website, not between two men and a woman. But between two women and a man, absolutely. The website notes that the Bible gives “specific prohibition against lesbian sex.” Awesome.

But what about adultery? You know, that thing from the ten commandments… no problems, in fact “the exploration of the wife’s sexuality with another woman could actually serve to draw the husband and wife closer together.” So there.

Bottom Line: “To summarize, we feel a Christian threesome is morally acceptable.” 

FISTING

The website feels that many Christian men do not fist their women and they feel that “This is unfortunate, because it means that many Christian men and women are depriving themselves of what could be the most spiritual sexual experience of their lives.”

In the website’s opinion, the fist is a powerful symbol and using it on a woman allows her and you to share a deeply spiritual sexual experience. A warning is offered however, “Before attempting fisting, a Christian husband and wife should pray together and ask for divine guidance.” So be prepared.

Bottom Line: if you don’t, then you are depriving yourselves of a wonderful mystery of the Lord.

MASTURBATION

“Masturbation: God’s Great Gift to Us”

SHAVING DOWN THERE?

“Believe and Be Shaved”

BONDAGE

“Despite the misleading impressions that such common BDSM practices as spanking, humiliation, and name-calling may give, they are only performed in the context of a loving relationship to fulfill the higher purpose of  strengthening emotional, sexual, and spiritual bonds.”

PORN

“The primary purpose of Christian pornography is to allow married Christian couples to better celebrate their sexuality in order to become more intimate with each other and enjoy a closer walk with the Lord.”

In summary, this confirms a lot of things my friends have been telling their Christian girlfriends for a long time. Party on.

thejonfoley

sometimes, men are introduced to a woman who is entirely capable, and often quite close, to being absolutely desirable. unfortunately, for both men and women, many ladies engage in faux pas that restrict them from ever being wanted by anyone with class, style and taste

and now for the list…

you may be a girl guys go “yeah, she’s looks real-eeeeeeehhhh-maybe not” if you

30 crimp your hair

29 have metallic colored nail polish

28 wear old sports accomplishment t-shirts. no one cares that you went to volleyball state in ‘98

27 watch rock of love, flavor of love, or any other bad celebrity dating show

26 talk about the hills in public

25 pretend that you and [insert famous person] would be friends if you met

24 have celebrity tabloids out in your living room

23 use a cell phone that belongs in a movie from 2004 or earlier

22 can’t cook

21 watch the disney channel

20 take pictures of you with other peoples kids

19 wear a bridesmaid’s dress that has been shortened

18 never wear heels before 6:00 pm

17 let your nail polish crack or grow out

16 decide some days don’t require make-up

15 pretend your animal is a person

14 wear crocs

13 have a messy bathroom

12 wear a plastic belt

11 wear bad eyeliner/eyshadow/blush

10 don’t wax what needs to be waxed

9 are ever said to be “one of the guys”

8 have a laugh that includes snorts

7 don’t check your teeth for food after a salad

6 burp/fart

5 drink a wine cooler. buy a mixed drink or wine if you don’t want beer

4 have eccentric piercings (i.e. nipples, tongue, eyebrow, belly button, etc.)

3 practice an art with mediocrity

2 have visible biceps

1 wear rubber flip-flops. anywhere. ever.

thejonfoley

many of you know me and many of you do not. here you have found the temple of doom, the center of the universe and the source of all joy. no, but seriously, you found some pretty dope tish.

check up on it every so often to hear my musing and adventures. the journey is the destination.

love in an elevator,

thejonfoley